Global Warming/Climate Change

The Knights Carbonic

The conspiracy which proves that manmade global warming is a scam

by George Monbiot: journalist, author, academic and environmental and political activist, United Kingdom

It’s no use pretending that this isn’t a major blow. The emails extracted by a hacker from the climatic research unit at the University of East Anglia could scarcely be more damaging(1). I am now convinced that they are genuine, and I’m dismayed and deeply shaken by them.

Yes, the messages were obtained illegally. Yes, all of us say things in emails that would be excruciating if made public. Yes, some of the comments have been taken out of context. But there are some messages that require no spin to make them look bad. There appears to be evidence here of attempts to prevent scientific data from being released(2,3), and even to destroy material that was subject to a freedom of information request(4).

Worse still, some of the emails suggest efforts to prevent the publication of work by climate sceptics(5,6), or to keep it out of a report by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change(7). I believe that the head of the unit, Phil Jones, should now resign. Some of the data discussed in the emails should be re-analysed.

But do these revelations justify the sceptics’ claims that this is “the final nail in the coffin” of global warming theory?(8,9) Not at all. They damage the credibility of three or four scientists. They raise questions about the integrity of one or perhaps two out of several hundred lines of evidence. To bury manmade climate change, a far wider conspiracy would have to be revealed. Luckily for the sceptics, and to my intense disappointment, I have now been passed the damning email which confirms that the entire science of global warming is indeed a scam. Had I known that it was this easy to rig the evidence, I wouldn’t have wasted years of my life promoting a bogus discipline. In the interests of open discourse, I feel obliged to reproduce it here.

Joseph Fourier spawned the plan
for world domination

Sent: 29th October 2009
To: The Knights Carbonic

Gentlemen, the culmination of our great plan approaches fast. What the Master called “the ordering of men’s affairs by a transcendent world state, ordained by God and answerable to no man”, which we now know as Communist World Government, advances towards its climax at Copenhagen. For 185 years since the Master, known to the laity as Joseph Fourier, launched his scheme for world domination, the entire physical science community has been working towards this moment.

The early phases of the plan worked magnificently. First the Master’s initial thesis – that the release of infrared radiation is delayed by the atmosphere – had to be accepted by the scientific establishment. I will not bother you with details of the gold paid, the threats made and the blood spilt to achieve this end. But the result was the elimination of the naysayers and the disgrace or incarceration of the Master’s rivals. Within 35 years the 3rd Warden of the Grand Temple of the Knights Carbonic (our revered prophet John Tyndall) was able to “demonstrate” the Master’s thesis. Our control of physical science was by then so tight that no major objections were sustained.

John Tyndall’s elaborate trickery
ensured the conspiracy’s future

More resistence was encountered (and swiftly despatched) when we sought to install the 6th Warden (Svante Arrhenius) first as professor of physics at Stockholm University, then as rector. From this position he was able to project the Master’s second grand law – that the infrared radiation trapped in a planet’s atmosphere increases in line with the quantity of carbon dioxide the atmosphere contains. He and his followers (led by the Junior Warden Max Planck) were then able to adapt the entire canon of physical and chemical science to sustain the second law.

Then began the most hazardous task of all: our attempt to control the instrumental record. Securing the consent of the scientific establishment was a simple matter. But thermometers had by then become widely available, and amateur meteorologists were making their own readings. We needed to show a steady rise as industrialisation proceeded, but some of these unfortunates had other ideas. The global co-option of police and coroners required unprecedented resources, but so far we have been able to cover our tracks.

Rumour has it that members of the influential
Knights Carbonic secret society wear a ring not
unlike this one.

The over-enthusiasm of certain of the Knights Carbonic in 1998 was most regrettable. The high reading in that year has proved impossibly costly to sustain. Those of our enemies who have yet to be silenced maintain that the lower temperatures after that date provide evidence of global cooling, even though we have ensured that eight of the ten warmest years since 1850 have occurred since 2001(10). From now on we will engineer a smoother progression.

Our co-option of the physical world has been just as successful. The thinning of the Arctic ice cap was a masterstroke. The ring of secret nuclear power stations around the Arctic Circle, attached to giant immersion heaters, remains undetected, as do the space-based lasers dissolving the world’s glaciers.

Altering the migratory and reproductive patterns of the world’s wildlife has proved more challenging. Though we have now asserted control over the world’s biologists, there is no accounting for the unauthorised observations of farmers, gardeners, bird-watchers and other troublemakers. We have therefore been forced to drive migrating birds, fish and insects into higher latitudes, and to release several million tonnes of plant pheromones every year to accelerate flowering and fruiting. None of this is cheap, and ever more public money, secretly diverted from national accounts by compliant governments, is required to sustain it.

The co-operation of these governments requires unflagging effort. The capture of George W. Bush, a late convert to the cause of Communist World Government, was made possible only by the threatened release of footage filmed by a knight at Yale, showing the future president engaged in coitus with a Ford Mustang. Most ostensibly-capitalist governments remain apprised of where their real interests lie, though I note with disappointment that we have so far failed to eliminate Vaclav Klaus. Through the offices of compliant states, the Master’s third grand law has been accepted: world government will be established under the guise of controlling manmade emissions of greenhouse gases.

Keeping the scientific community in line remains a challenge. The national academies are becoming ever more querulous and greedy, and require higher pay-offs each year. The inexplicable events of the past month, in which the windows of all the leading scientific institutions were broken and a horse’s head turned up in James Hansen’s bed, appear to have staved off the immediate crisis, but for how much longer can we maintain the consensus?

Knights Carbonic, now that the hour of our triumph is at hand, I urge you all to redouble your efforts. In the name of the Master, go forth and terrify.

Professor Ernst Kattweizel, University of Redcar. 21st Grand Warden of the Temple of the Knights Carbonic.”

This is the kind of conspiracy the deniers need to reveal to show that manmade climate change is a con. The hacked emails are a hard knock, but the science of global warming withstands much more than that.


  8. eg


  1. This post does not belong on a permaculture website. It only serves to descredit us as morons. I love a good conspiracy theory better than anyone, but this is just plain stupid. Do you even have any basic understanding of science? Please just remove this post before you make us all look like fools.

  2. I enjoyed the story, and agree that the conspiracy theorists simplify their ideas leaving them open to such mockery. I do think there is a conspiracy, or sense it, and the CRU scandal reveals something of it.. a cultural economic corruption at an ideological level, creating vast opportunity for social engineers, big blind business, and politicians becoming too big for their boots. Ive always preferred BBC documentarian Adam Curtis take on our society and the things that govern it. Its still simplistic, but a slightly more complex account that doesnt bring it down to black and white evil, and shows how we are all a part of it – even a permaculture research institute. Perhaps in a few hundred years this bastard culture we have will be told in a story like the one in this post.

  3. Please tell me where Mr. Monbiot published this. Did he write this for your site? If not, where else has this been published?

    I am having the devil of a time believing Monbiot actually wrote this. Put aside the fact that the content of the piece requires the suspension of disbelief, the style’s tenor is more Ruppert (with all due respect) than Monbiot. A person who writes with French as a first language could hardly have composed this.


  4. @Supachupa

    These emails were real. The global warming data was false and is therefore a scam. And for anyone without vested interest to still defend global warming as something we should be worrying about is plain @#$% up.

  5. Well, it does give us an example of our detractors’ POV. I would leave it up just for that reason.

    Also, in the past people had to worry about global cooling. Now there is global warming to worry about – a.k.a. “climate change”.

    Hmm. Global changes in climate patterns do occur from time to time – even without human intervention, don’t they?

  6. When faced with an article such as this, it is important to make a permaculture assesment, and take a poly-faceted view. This article is not about what George has to say but WHY he said it. George is a stirer and he gets people talking, his articles always provoke comment. We need to accept the Georgeness of George. Let’s also ask, where does he fit in the world? What is his function? Can we use him to our advantage? His articles mean different things to different people, that’s important too. Also, I know it’s nice and safe for people to sign off with a user name, but honestly, if you want to be considered as someone with integrity, use your real name, be brave. Carolyn Payne

  7. @Incredulous – George Monbiot is English, not French, and yes, you’re right – the email reproduced in this article is a joke, or rather, a satirical example of the sort of email they’d have to uncover to disprove the whole AGW position.

    Monbiot’s point is that exactly that – the kerfuffle over the hacked emails is a blow for ‘his side’ not because it actually disproves their argument, but rather in the sense that many people on ‘the other side’ immediately go “AHA! There we have it! It was ALL a hoax, there is no climate change, and in any case climate has always changed without our help, and they can’t prove that humans are causing any of it and actually the world is cooling, not warming and whatever you say is just part of the big conspiracy to install world government!”.

    Just because politicians may want to capitalize on the issue and may suggest counterproductive responses (typically ones that reinforce the influence of politicians), and just because big (and not so big) business will look for ways to milk this for profit, that doesn’t mean we should stop listening to scientists. Business will always look for ways to coopt any popular cause, even anti-corporate ones (“Anarchist t-shirts, now made entirely of organic hemp, only $29.99!”).

    @Adrian I – yes, climate changes naturally, going through cycles and experiencing intermittent sudden events (volcano eruptions, etc), even without human intervention. All climatologists worth their salt acknowledge this and have described it in detail. The issue is our additional impact. I mean, it’s like a bunch of people in a boat who get rowdy and the boat looks like it is going to tip – does it make sense to say “It’s not us. All boats rock in the waves. It’s all natural”?

    As for the idea that the scientific community used to say back in the seventies that it was global cooling we needed to worry about, wasn’t it mostly the popular press that warned of that? I don’t know of many climatologists who did.

    @Wheeds – “vested interests”? Who’s got the bigger vested interests? Scientists looking to max their research funding (measured in five to seven digit dollar sums) or fossil fuel business (with profits measured in nine, ten or eleven digit dollar sums) and their hired scientists?

    For those who think governments are behind the movement to mitigate climate change, note that most politicians, while pandering to the public in their speeches, have actually been actively putting the brakes on concrete measures, trying to get away with doing as little as possible about the problem. They mostly seem to answer to the people who fund their campaigns.

    As for your assertion (@Wheedz) that “the global warming data was false” – No, the emails do not show that the full body of scientific findings underpinning the AGW position was falsified, only that a small part of the data was manipulated.

  8. Ah I get it,soo its like a funraiser for the end of the world?
    All I see is pessimists opting the end of the world around where I live

  9. “Humanity knows nothing at all” – Fukuoka

    some know less than others… I have read so many conflicting believes and predictions in so many areas of our lives and environment that I have made up my mind… Permaculture is the way to go no matter whether the climate will cool or warm, inflation/deflation, muslim/christion, complex society collapse or not, whether we run out of oil soon or have 20 more years to go or not. Increasong diversity, decreasing compmlexity and ongoing food security – you can hardly argue against that… right?

    So get out there and Permaculture.. :)

  10. Nice spoof on the conspiracy theory line out there.
    As someone who’s done Permaculture, a some climatology and a lot of reading, I have come to the conclusion that there are errors on both sides and that the climate data is being miss read. Vested interest works in both academia and industry. We just have them banging heads in a big way now.
    The data is coming out showing problems with the theories and modelling. The climatologists outed in the climate-gate files are lousy conspirators. Deleting data is a fools game; your sure to get caught. People who believe something so much that they cant see the other side of a debate are as vulnerable as they are dangerous.
    The climate sceptics are equally in error by arguing that solar and renewables can never be cheaper than oil.

    It wont effect Copenhagen, nothing will happen there, governments are broke. No-one can afford cap and trade or carbon taxes. Yes there are communists and others trying to takeover the world at Copenhagen. So what? They’ve always been there and always been vocal. They’re dangerous because their plans may get up and will fail, blocking real solutions in the process. Its the technology and ecology that matters, get the technology cheaper than oil and the problem goes away. Build robust diverse productive ecologies and climate change does no damage.

    Yes I’m a sceptic about CO2 driven climate change, I know too much about the Medieval Climate Optimum, temperatures 1 to 3 degree’s warmer, known through records, sediment and pollen analysis. Yet there was no catastrophes, extinctions or sea level rise seen.
    There are far better reasons to shift to sustainable agriculture and sustainable energy. Never tie yourself to a single issue or cause. If it goes down, so do you.

  11. @Wesley Bruce – I thought the Medieval Warm Period argument had been debunked? If I understand correctly, it was a fairly regional phenomenon (NW Europe mostly?), but on a global scale not warmer than recent temperatures.

    To double-check, I scanned the RealClimate site (they go through most of the skeptics’ arguments at, and I found this about the Medieval Warm Period:

    I agree wholeheartedly that permaculture is an excellent response to a number of other concerns as well, e.g. energy scarcity, pollution, water issues, biodiversity, etc. etc. Not sure that we can just “get the technology cheaper than oil and the problem goes away” though. It takes more than just money to produce renewable energy infrastructure. The production of devices to capture and store renewable energy is itself very energy-intensive, and it’s not at all clear that we can use solar or wind energy, for example, to create enough solar panels and windmills to meet the world’s energy needs. After all, the production of such devices involves mining for metal, for example, and those gigantic vehicles are not running on rechargeable batteries, that’s for sure.

    (Don’t get me wrong, I’m very much for these technologies – it’s just that I expect events in time will adjust our expectations for us, bringing energy demand into synch with actual supply).

    As for Copenhagen, I too have rather low expectations that anything that actually makes a difference will come out of it. It’s not the communists I worry about, but obfuscation, posturing and boondoggles to feed the (already obese) fat cats. If they can displace poor people in the 2/3 world in order to replace intact ecosystems with monoculture biodiesel plantations (and call it forest so as to get carbon credits), they’ll pat each other on the back and call it saving the environment.

  12. All the models in the world will not be able to predict what is happening with the climate. I don’t think anyone can dispute that increases in CO2 tend to increase temperature, but no one can really know how much of an effect that CO2 will have when all climate influences are taken into account (solar activity, increases in plasma entering the solar system etc). Can we make a difference? who knows. But like Matt and Wesley have stated, it shouldn’t really make a difference in our determination to move to more sustainable agricultural practices. Energy efficiencies and production methods are being researched more rapidly around the world and will become cost effective very soon or all ready are.

    Government rebates and silly ETS will hopefully become a thing of the past as “cleaner” methods become more competitive.

  13. Yeah. The small part of the data that was falsified was the part that showed warming.

    I used to think that it was probably warming a little (we’re coming out of the Little Ice Age), but that we probably had little effect on the temperature. I also suspect that a little warming is probably a good thing what with more arable land and longer growing seasons. The Midieval Warm period being a model for what we might expect to see.

    But, not it’s not clear that it’s even been warming. In emails to each other, they admit that it hasn’t warmed for about 9 years in clear violation of their models.

    New things out that are interesting:

    Some geo-magneticists put together their own dataset when CRU wouldn’t cough up the raw data. Their data shows no warming.

    Some outside scientists have gotten the raw New Zealand data and it again shows: no warming.

    Apparently the CRU guys were intentionally not correcting for the Urban Heat Island Effect.

    The geologic record shows periods of very high CO2 with no associated warming and periods of warming with low CO2.

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